random thoughts.

1.04 p.m.

The past few days can be surmised as, uh, ‘déjà vu overload’. But in the sense that these experiences really did happen, so they don’t really count as déjà vu. Wait. Before you get even more confused;

I had my weird tasting but homely tomato pasta, which I haven’t had in more than a month. Cos the holidays had been so hectic. Everyday is packed with activities, first I’m working, then I go overseas, then I have attachment; sometimes I don’t have time to go home for dinner, other times, I just don’t want to.

But then I didn’t realize I miss home cooked food (and the homely feeling) so much.

Until last Friday when I went to biaojie’s house, where my mom and aunt prepared dinner. And mom cooked her spicy-sour soup/broth (which we affectionately termed 假鱼翅, i.e. pseudo shark’s fin), which she hadn’t cooked in, uh, more than a year. It was just a simple meal, we didn’t even eat together because everyone came at different times after work/attachment/whatevers. But I was reminded of what we used to do, when life wasn’t so busy and jam packed. That night I ate in front of the TV (the last time I did that was probably in lower Sec), and actually sat through an entire episode of a Chinese drama serial. Whoa the last time I did that would be…I really cannot remember. Haven’t watched TV in more than a year.

(Funny how it should be on a Friday too. I remember when I was 7-8 years of age, I used to visit my biaojie without fail every Friday.)

Then yesterday. (Yesterday was hell of a shit day, I really don’t know how it progressed from okay to bad to worse until right before dinner time concluding in me hating myself so damn freaking badly, thankfully after that it was fine). Only the dinner-and-thereafter segment of yesterday was decent. In fact yesterday’s dinner, for once in a really really long while, felt like the old times again; when my brother talked more and my father joked. The laughter evoked warmth admist the rain. (and yes it rained for the entire day, what the hell).

We even started reminiscing aloud; mostly I was teasing my brother. About the time he hid a basketball in his puny bag cos mom wouldn’t allow him to bring it to school and play; and the time he refrigerated a storybook because he didn’t want to be caught reading when he was supposed to be doing work (and mom was coming upstairs and there was not enough time to hide the book elsewhere)…

Well if only it could be this way every Sunday.
Yeah so this is what I meant.
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1.30 p.m.

在我身边的大家，你们当中有谁能确确实实的说，自己清楚生活的意义是什么、在生命的最终要达到什么？现在的忙忙碌碌是为了什么 --- 心里有锁定目标了吗？ 还是只不过盲目跟风，这一阵“来匆匆、去匆匆”的风。

今天晨跑时无意听见两个陌生人的对话 – 有关于。。。aiyah详细内容是极不清了，但一个字：
钱。
岂不是？在我们生活的社会了，每时每刻，不论你在哪个角落，人与人的对话也好，新闻报道也好，都离不开钱。工作人士比较薪金，阿嫂们直冲大减价，还频频与档主杀价。现代人如此讲究物质生活，无可否定，钱是必需品。但难道没有比它更重要的事物吗？每天忙碌本坡度是为了赚钱，甚至直到不分昼夜、废寝忘食。有这个必要吗？

这样子的人生，快乐吗？

还是，快乐已经成了次要？

前阵子在报章上读到吴庆康的一篇文章，让我印象深刻。他把在旅行时遇见的porter当例子,让落后国家的人与发展国家作比较，相比之下，谁比较幸福？答案看似明显，其实不然。或许我们看他们生活潦倒,家境贫困,难免掀起同情之心。但，可曾想过，他们少了金银珠宝，却也多了几分无忧无虑。不像我们一心只想赚钱，他们的顾虑少,负担轻,过得更轻松自在。

谁说他们需要怜悯？ 也许他们比我们过的还要幸福。
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2.13 p.m.
Sometimes, when you expect a good day, it can turn out to be like, shit.
On the contrary, sometimes when nothing seems to be going right, it still ends on a relatively good note. That is, when you bother to think back on the day.

Like last Sunday, Kevin wanted to bowl so badly after breakfast and I agreed to accompany him, but then there had to be such a long queue at our breakfast venue (we had this overnight stay at intercontinental) and we only finished breakfast at around lunch. I couldn’t be late for my bouldering date with yingzi. So we didn’t bowl.

So off I went to SAFRA. Only to realize, after traveling all the way to Yishun and compromising bowling that the rockclimbing tower is closed due to SAFRA adventura. We were L, but not for long. Not wanting to make it a wasted trip Wanting to make our trip seem less wasted, and suddenly remembering there were Odacians participating in the race, we decided to show them some moral support. Wanted to make a placard, which we didn’t in the end- but we bought them drinks! Lol what nice friends we are.

And then, again I had to rush to Serene Centre for island creamery outing with biaojie. And I was late for half an hour, plus my phone ran out of battery so I was uncontactable. Felt really bad. It was raining very heavily when we reached the bus stop. We got tired of waiting for it to stop, so walked to Serene while it poured. And entered looking like 2 fools (I was reminded of the time Jean and I went to Armani@Hilton, 2 rj students drenched in our uniforms, to get her catalogue for our ‘project’ haha). And then the rain stopped. Admist our cursing we laughed it off. And we shared like $20++ worth of desserts. Mud pie, chocolate sundae, baked Eskimo. I love pigging out with people who are willing to uhh indulge and heck about the calories J

And so I didn’t get to bowl, didn’t get to boulder, was drenched in the rain, but it turned out not so bad after all.

As compared to yesterday…yesterday was SHIT.
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Sometime back I chanced upon I-can’t-remember-who’s blog, and now someone else posted this up too(:

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he
cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

I just thought it is really sweet. In a tongue-in-cheek kind of way.