The past two weeks

The past two weeks I'd probably met up with more friends than I did in the entire semester. This week especially, was gathering galore. I usually refrain from the "a day in Kelly's life" kinda posts, but perhaps today I'd make an exception. So here's my week in a rhyme.

monday I had brunch with Kian Wei
Toast and teh at quiet cafe;
Later I met the Odac gang
"Happy Birthday, Beifen" we sang;
The rest of us then karaoked
Pet, Li Cui, Ryan, Meiting, Me;
Bus home with Ryan's company
Super long ride - we muddled daffys!

tuesday Indulged at park with mommy
Couldn't smile - mind was on driving;
Evening, discussed CIR plans
And my Chatterbox refuge began.

wednesday Andrew and I, we
Pool recce during Biz FOC;
Black Roses I long time no see
Before this we all so busy;
Afternoon news came - camps cancelled
This H1N1 really not
To be underestimated;
Pray USC's can still happen
Or efforts wasted spirits dampened;
Movie night with FOP friends
Wasn't too bad though reviews depend;

thursday was the OGL camp
Supposed to drive in the morning
But I overslept - money wasted DAMN;
Camp was good and Sparta is cool
Mass dance we all super enthu;
Dinnertime Gerald came over
Subway and a somewhat school tour
Nice night with my friend the thinker
Thanks for coming, and the dinner.

friday Felt like I didn't sleep
The DOTA guys, their roars so deep;
Day 2 of the OGL camp
To Ubin came FOP gang;
Trekking amid greens and durians
Feels like Odac over again;
Journeyed back school in much fatigue
Well twas fun and quite nostalgic;
After debrief I met Gao Fang
Cos soon she'd leave for China
Take care, stay safe, have fun my sweet <3
HTHT when we next meet!

saturday Was just plain horrid
Arrived in school with eyes misted
Thank you friends for the cheer-me-ups
Driving just keeps sinking my heart;
Scholaris was great for a first
(Though I spoke in all boringness);
Then was board games with Emmanus
Thanks Miss Pang for inviting us -
Louise Yee Sian and yours truly;
And for your wise words a plenty.

For everyone's care and concern
I feel so greatly loved and touched
To my friends, I love you all much!
And Ryan for the long phone call -
Put my mind off the shit and all.

sunday My lovely afternoon
Lunch with Xiu Min, our IOU;
It's been so long, it really has
She's still the same, with all that jazz;
We had never been all that close
But to her I can bare my soul;
Can't wait for our girly picnic
In sundresses we'll reminisce.

I hate driving.

I have been taking lessons for many many months. More than what a typical person would have done to pass. But I still suck at it. And I still feel that every lesson is an ordeal, that must be undergone with so much effort. Physically, emotionally, mentally, just every sense of that word essentially. 90% of the many many lessons I have taken thus far was a bad experience, either from bad feedback or horrible demonstration of skills (lack thereof, rather) or near accidents and perhaps a third of the many many lessons ended in tears. I do not deny his competency as a driving instructor and I shall just say that his teaching and my learning styles simply clash head-on.

The test (2 times postponed) is supposed to be next Thursday but I don't know what to do now. Have a pressing urge to just stop right now. Then I can have the next week free of all these worries and my life back to normal again. For the past many many months, these lessons had really taken a toll on my life. My money, my TIME (amidst the many other commitments, even during the exam period I had to rush to and fro NUS and cdc), my emotional well-being. It sounds really ridiculous but it's true. The extent of stress I had to go through before and after each lesson really kills me. But then at this point now, there is the issue of sunk cost. I have already spent so much...

And to think I really do NOT want to drive very badly at all. Only took it up cos my mom wanted me to. I should stop this "doing things to make people happy" routine. Cos more often than not I end up torturing myself. I hate driving THIS MUCH.

"Your worth is in Christ, not in achievement." - Miss Pang's wise words for me today.